If you are reading this “school” has most likely affected you. Chances are, many of you are trying to understand the behaviors of a current “student”. Your legitimate and sincere concerns are being met with pat, odd, dismissive and cold responses. These deflective tactics don’t ring true to the person you know and you might be baffled by his/her defensiveness.
Like any good cult, “school” employs an arsenal of manipulative tactics. Never is this more true then when the un-schooled dare question the institution; “school” amps up its retain-at-all-costs-machinery and sets to work. Recently a fellow escapee shared his experience with me and supplied the following: a list of the “school”- sponsored clever insincerity employed on him; the reasons why these tactics failed; a sample letter as a template (in the next post) for those trying to reach current “students”.
I hope the next two posts shed light on “school” psychology and provide tools to help you reach the person for whom you are concerned:
“School” coercion:
- Sure school is causing problems with my marriage, but that’s because my wife is “jealous.” If only I “worked on myself” more — I could be emanating finer vibrations to her and our relationship would be better. I needed to heed school’s help to be firmer with her, and to simultaneously work on myself more, so that she would be so thrilled with me that she’d look past the downsides of school. It was a “package deal” they told me to tell her. I was great in so many ways that, even if she didn’t like the time I spent out of the house, the source of everything she liked about me was really owed to school.
- Even if there are problems with my marriage, don’t I value higher ideals, a.k.a. “God”, more than my own petty problems? Don’t I want to really do something meaningful with my life – serving a higher purpose (a.k.a. school)? If I let every “small” personal problem get in the way of serving God, what does that make me?
- Sometimes I’d wonder if there were other groups out there that could give me what I got at school without all the secrecy. But we were told, repeatedly by other students and teachers that school is the only thing like this anywhere. We were told that school is “The Source”.
- How could I leave and “steal” the ideas of the work? Even if I were able to live a more fulfilling life than I had before school because of what I’d learned, I would be stealing the ideas of school without properly “paying back” the wonderful gift I’d received. Paying back meant doing whatever they told me/strongly “suggested” I do – spending hours upon hours of my time in school activities. But I was serving a higher purpose even if it was sometimes painful.
- Much more likely than being able to lead a fulfilling life after I left school, though, was the real chance that my life would fall apart. I’d go back to being “asleep” and lose everything I’d gained there. I’d be leaving “the source” and my life would be without meaning or purpose.
- And more important than the quality of my own petty life was my obligation to the world, which I believed depended on school. The fate of humanity literally rested on our shoulders. These ideas were so powerful that they needed to be preserved or mankind would be in jeopardy. If I let my relationship with my wife get in the way of that, what did that make me?
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His conclusions:
- If this were really such a highly evolved group of teachers, why were they all married to other people in school or divorced? Were they in my position, could they really emanate sufficiently fine vibrations and say just the right things so that their spouse would be totally accepting?
- Why was I jeopardizing my marriage and family for all of this? I was causing real pain to my wife, and was I really serving God? Were all the rules that were hurting her really serving some esoteric purpose?
- School does not have a monopoly on God or even the specific teaching we followed.
- I realized the fear that I had about leaving or being kicked out and that I had bought into the line about being cut off from “the source”. To learn that people were thriving outside of school was very powerful. I also feared being cut off from a large part of what had become my support system. Once you leave, you can have no contact with anyone at school – a prospect that is incredibly isolating and scary given the intensity of the friendships you form there. To know there was a support system out there of former students who I trusted and who cared about me was also helpful.
- Ironically, they were the ones stealing these ideas. These ideas are freely available to anyone who seeks them. The only way to steal ideas is to lay exclusive claim to them – as school does.
- Eventually I concluded that much of these rules — that were hurting me and my family — were completely unnecessary for my “evolution.”
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this should be shown to every highschool student
See this clip
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=EBK5aKOr2Fw&feature=youtu.be
For some reason, I’m just seeing these two comments. Will check out the YouTube video.
OMG!! thanks for the post and for the courage of sharing these inner thoughts.
This way of self-deception is exactly what my husband is experiencing. He is a 4 year member of School of Practical Philosphy a “school” created by Leo Maclaren in UK following the teachings of Ouspenski, F Roles and Maharishi Mahes Yogi.
Your post have been really helpful for me
Hi Marina,
First I want to say that I’m so sorry you are going through this. I often think that this process is far more painful for partners/spouses/family members — invariably they are shut out and left to wonder why their loved one has become so inaccessible, so strange, so shutdown and cold. I don’t know what it was that kept my husband hanging in there, but I count my blessings!
Here are a couple of posts specifically about “School”-inflicted relationship damage:
Un-“Schooled” Spouses and “School” Affairs
“School” and Marriage
I expect the strategies will ring familiar, as all cults are the same. I am glad to hear that cult confessions is helpful to you. I hope you also have emotional supports through friends and family. Cults aim to isolate and community is the best way to counter that isolation.
I’m happy to help in anyway that I can from across the pond.
Take care, GSR